Big Brother

I have just sat down with a cuppa tea and some jammy dodgers to enjoy this weeks Heat Magazine, only to be put right off. I don't mean to be funny, but I ain't half sick of this whole Big Brother racist stuff still being in the news... I mean seriously, I know what it is like to have people being racist, my Winston's Mum and Dad won't even come and visit little Winston Jr cos he is a half breed, and the woman in me local newsagents the other day called him a 'little monkey'.

Anyway, I was annoyed to hear that Jo from S Club (I still aint sure if it's a boy or a girl) is all upset cos since he/she has left the Big Brother house he/she has been having nightmares about mirrors and helicopters... yes mirrors and helicopters. Christ love get a grip, you should be here on a night when I have something that climbs into me bed, and believe me it ain't human, and I don't like anyone coming into my bed univited.

But really is Jo mad? She's been living the life of riley since she come out that house, she's been staying in some plush hotel with room service and everything, and I bet she got free porn. And cos she's been so scared for her life she's lost nearly two stone. If I could lose two stone in a month I would be over the moon, so I really don't know what she's moaning about.