My New Shoes

I love em. It took me ages to get a pair in me size, as every kid on the estate was down JD Sports getting em.

Thankfully me mate Wayne came across a pair of size 4's on his last 'shopping spree' in Chigwell. He got lucky and come across a right posh house that was having some kiddies birthday so whilst they were playing pin the tail on the donkey he managed to get in and nick all the presents.

Little Winston Jr thought Christmas had come early, we got a Mr Frosty, Operation, 2 Bratz Dolls, a Pink Nintendo DS and five games. I'm delighted as I finally got me Heely shoes, so I can now do knock and run and get a head start. Especially if I am posting Russell's shit through me annoying Neightbours doors.

International Donkey Week!

It's international donkey week.... can you believe it, a whole week dedicated to donkeys.

Little Winston Jr and I have decorated our flat and got party hats etc.. for Russell. We even made him a cake, well me brother made it, though the silly bugger didn't tell me it was a hash cake and poor Russell ended up having an epileptic fit and little Winston Jr ate all me cheese.

What I don't get is that apparently, according to The Donkey Sanctuary, they have a waiting list for people that want donkeys... I aint had any offers for Russell, not one, and doubt that I will now seeing as that since that bloody cake his fits have become more frequent! I can't afford to keep buying the foam to attach to his hooves, so he don't do anymore damage to me flat!

From Smary to Barmy

I just don't get it?

If Scotland declared themselves as independent from the UK elections, then why when Tony Blair retires are we ending up with a Scottish Man running our country? It just doesn't seem right. If those Scottish people didn't want to be a part of our government anymore, why are we ending up with their dregs?

Shouldn't we be allowed to vote for the new leader of our country? I myself would have voted for that man with the dog. He always seemed ever so nice to me, as there ain't many men who show so much commitment to an animal, he went everywhere with that dog. Whatever happened to him?

It's a shame that really nice man they named that Bitter after died, as I always wanted him to be PM. He looked like he had soft hands, before he died that was, I should imagine by now they are rather decayed or just bones with a little bit of flesh left on them.

I'm back

Yes, it been ages, and I'm sorry. That bloody Richard Branston cut off Tylers cable cos we was protesting at having no SKY channels, which means he no longer has Wireless I can piggyback on. I knew we should have just stopped buying his pickle.

It's taken me the last four weeks to crack the passwords that me selfish neighbours have on their broadband - but finally I have managed to work out Mr Theodopolopodis' by going through the menu at the local Greek restaurant, fat git.

I never got enough money to go to the US of A, as me take over of Cash Converters didn't go to plan, as it turns out the reason they shut down was cos all the stuff was knock off... so all I ended up making was £30.48 selling knock off fags to the local kids.

No one has made any offers for Russell, nothing...

But I am now back, so look out for me updates!